Getting tired of sport news, experts and their opinions which sound too familiar and rehashed every time you hear them now. I am too but first before providing a solution, the question is who am I? I am Osaid Ahmad and you can call me Ozzy cos well the name is difficult to pronounce even for me (thanks mum dad) and I am a sports fanatic just like you who would like to know about everything happening in the sports world but in a way more colorful, enjoyable and most importantly different then other sites that deal with sports. So I went ahead and contacted four personnel I thought could spice up this blog with their round table discussions for better or for worse. Sounds a terrible idea getting them together they are no experts hell they might be downright wrong in their analysis, racist and a lot of other bad things that make me downright uncomfortable handling this blog. In fact to tell you the truth I didn't even wanted to do this with them but then again nor did anyone else in the world so I got stuck with conducting these sessions with The Four (yeah I'm going to call them that for now). Still what's started must be completed or at least be given a chance so let me introduce our four panel of experts (Yes, we call them experts for the sake of their egos). I will try that a war doesn't break out in our discussions and also updates are regularly posted on this blog while our four experts will give you updates about sporting events, opinions, analysis and betting tips (seriously don't trust them on that). We will bring in other random people just for the sake of it branding them as an expert from time to time so that you get variety of people giving you all the information you want about ALL THE SPORTS IN THE WORLD. So we have our The Four so let me just introduce them now before fearing the worse you close this page (and umm... I'll appreciate if they are not told about these biographies):
1. Johnny Blake
Johnny Blake has to be the most likable of all the four experts and that's why I'm introducing him first. Despite his dreadful IQ he is thankfully someone with a good sense of humor and a laid back attitude. With the other three intense, informative and enlightening experts (read crazy, dangerous and unstable) going on with their high levels of critical and rational discussion scrutinizing every issue we needed some who could make sense of all of that. We are not sure he can but its the best we could do and soooo.... we have Johnny though not much of an expert he is passionate about cars and racing. He also claims to have spent most of his life in the USA and also apparently has studied at Harvard (personal inquiries conducted by me revealed no records of his presence ever there). Anyways due to all the absurd facts above Johnny is our expert on all racing and American sports (NBA, MLB, NFL, NHL etc.).
2. Lord Michael Stevens
Lord Michael Stevens or LMS as we call him is the smartest person in The Four. In fact he is even more smarter then me and well most of you who are reading this post. LMS is the only slightly appropriate person we could persuade to do this blog, most of the other reasonable personnel didn't find our high pay and excellent working conditions appropriate for their stature. I hope he will help keeping this blog intact and help it survive anything that our other experts come up with. LMS is our Golf, Tennis and Athletics expert and if he had agreed I would have had him as the only expert for all the other sports as well.
3. Isabelle Leroy
Isabelle is not much of an expert or even much of a fan of sports as much as she is fan of sport personalities ranging from men to women. Women to copy and men to admire she doesn't bother about the actual sports that much. That would make her like all the women in the world right? Yeah but unfortunately she takes her obsessions to a whole new level sleeping with a human sized cardboard cutting of the sport personality she is obsessed with. And even that is not the worse part cos she has a new favorite almost every week. At least taking advantage of that whoever Isabelle is obsessed with will be our sporting hero of the day. But stay beware of her weird stories and strange encounters like once she said... well you will get to know soon what we are talking about here. Isabelle will mostly handle cricket and rugby as an expert. However she also is our expert for all the other less known sports in the world whenever something noteworthy happens in them and the only reason for appointing her to do that is because she volunteered and we were too lazy to find other experts.
4. Andrey Gorbachev
Well I tried to lie but can't, this guy is horrible and I absolutely hate him. He has gotten into this column by threatening to sue me for my biased approach of not hiring guys with the surname of Gorbachev and a first name Andrey and as he was the only man to have that quality in the world I got stuck with him. He always supports the team on top so don't be surprised if one week he is supporting Manchester United and the other Chelsea or Barcelona or Real Madrid. Folks no regrets in saying the truth I have saved the worse for last and he also says that he is the last living descendant of some long forgotten Russian monarch which was supposed to rule the world till infinity (thank God for their destruction but hey you missed one here). Arrogant, Selfish, Biased, Racist, Sexist and a Cute Power Hungry maniac he is but that doesn't make any difference and his Royal Highness The Last Prince of the World Ruling Empire Andrey Gorbachev (he insists we call him that) is our football expert. Speaking of which his knowledge about that sport is thankfully quite good even impressive at times. Also when I talk about football for my American readers I am talking about SOCCER which is actually called football and not american football that is supposed to be called rugby. So Soccer is football and football is rugby and rugby is... WTF i was talking about here. Yeah I'm done with the Prince.
Static One
Static one is a pc... Yes! a Personal Computer which stores our great library of sporting stats and is only useful to give random stats at random times whenever its weird wiring finds it appropriate and we decided to add them in the blog exactly like that whenever it comes up with one so don't be surprised when you get Static One alerts in this blog.
Finally you all are left with me and i'm stuck with this group to somehow develop and keep this blog going and make sure it keeps making sense. That is just my fancy way of saying that I'm their bellboy. I'm not sure if this blog will be weekly or twice a week or thrice a week or maybe even everyday updated with sporting updates and discussions by our experts. Mostly that is because they can't stop fighting and agree on a single format. But don't worry as soon as i sort it I will post that for everyone's benefit. Till then wait for the first meeting of The Four and what goes in there.
Adios
1. Johnny Blake
Johnny Blake has to be the most likable of all the four experts and that's why I'm introducing him first. Despite his dreadful IQ he is thankfully someone with a good sense of humor and a laid back attitude. With the other three intense, informative and enlightening experts (read crazy, dangerous and unstable) going on with their high levels of critical and rational discussion scrutinizing every issue we needed some who could make sense of all of that. We are not sure he can but its the best we could do and soooo.... we have Johnny though not much of an expert he is passionate about cars and racing. He also claims to have spent most of his life in the USA and also apparently has studied at Harvard (personal inquiries conducted by me revealed no records of his presence ever there). Anyways due to all the absurd facts above Johnny is our expert on all racing and American sports (NBA, MLB, NFL, NHL etc.).
2. Lord Michael Stevens
Lord Michael Stevens or LMS as we call him is the smartest person in The Four. In fact he is even more smarter then me and well most of you who are reading this post. LMS is the only slightly appropriate person we could persuade to do this blog, most of the other reasonable personnel didn't find our high pay and excellent working conditions appropriate for their stature. I hope he will help keeping this blog intact and help it survive anything that our other experts come up with. LMS is our Golf, Tennis and Athletics expert and if he had agreed I would have had him as the only expert for all the other sports as well.
3. Isabelle Leroy
Isabelle is not much of an expert or even much of a fan of sports as much as she is fan of sport personalities ranging from men to women. Women to copy and men to admire she doesn't bother about the actual sports that much. That would make her like all the women in the world right? Yeah but unfortunately she takes her obsessions to a whole new level sleeping with a human sized cardboard cutting of the sport personality she is obsessed with. And even that is not the worse part cos she has a new favorite almost every week. At least taking advantage of that whoever Isabelle is obsessed with will be our sporting hero of the day. But stay beware of her weird stories and strange encounters like once she said... well you will get to know soon what we are talking about here. Isabelle will mostly handle cricket and rugby as an expert. However she also is our expert for all the other less known sports in the world whenever something noteworthy happens in them and the only reason for appointing her to do that is because she volunteered and we were too lazy to find other experts.
4. Andrey Gorbachev
Well I tried to lie but can't, this guy is horrible and I absolutely hate him. He has gotten into this column by threatening to sue me for my biased approach of not hiring guys with the surname of Gorbachev and a first name Andrey and as he was the only man to have that quality in the world I got stuck with him. He always supports the team on top so don't be surprised if one week he is supporting Manchester United and the other Chelsea or Barcelona or Real Madrid. Folks no regrets in saying the truth I have saved the worse for last and he also says that he is the last living descendant of some long forgotten Russian monarch which was supposed to rule the world till infinity (thank God for their destruction but hey you missed one here). Arrogant, Selfish, Biased, Racist, Sexist and a Cute Power Hungry maniac he is but that doesn't make any difference and his Royal Highness The Last Prince of the World Ruling Empire Andrey Gorbachev (he insists we call him that) is our football expert. Speaking of which his knowledge about that sport is thankfully quite good even impressive at times. Also when I talk about football for my American readers I am talking about SOCCER which is actually called football and not american football that is supposed to be called rugby. So Soccer is football and football is rugby and rugby is... WTF i was talking about here. Yeah I'm done with the Prince.
Static One
Static one is a pc... Yes! a Personal Computer which stores our great library of sporting stats and is only useful to give random stats at random times whenever its weird wiring finds it appropriate and we decided to add them in the blog exactly like that whenever it comes up with one so don't be surprised when you get Static One alerts in this blog.
Finally you all are left with me and i'm stuck with this group to somehow develop and keep this blog going and make sure it keeps making sense. That is just my fancy way of saying that I'm their bellboy. I'm not sure if this blog will be weekly or twice a week or thrice a week or maybe even everyday updated with sporting updates and discussions by our experts. Mostly that is because they can't stop fighting and agree on a single format. But don't worry as soon as i sort it I will post that for everyone's benefit. Till then wait for the first meeting of The Four and what goes in there.
Adios
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